temporary feeling
by suicidebycyanide
Summary: He goes to the bar desperate to fill the emptiness inside. - —Caleb.


ox

* * *

He knew downing his sorrows wasn't going to make much of a difference to how he felt. He knew it was impossible to feel any worse than he already did, sad, annoyed, angry, betrayed. They were just emotions, feelings that he never expected to experience. The moment his daughter came into his life, little Matilda, he changed. He was no longer that pain in the arse who's only meaning in life was to live in the fast lane. He became a father — a man.

 _She's not yours._

It broke his heart — breaks his heart to say goodbye to the little girl he thought was his flesh and blood. It breaks his heart to think that his brother may not be that, his brother. He doesn't really know what to do so that's probably why he finds himself in the pub in the middle of the evening, knocking back sambuca shots like they're heading out of fashion.

He spots her at the bar. Long legs, black dress, brown hair. He watches how she laughs with her friends, twisting a strand of brown hair around her finger. He doesn't approach her at first, just watches as she looks in his direction and gives him a smile.

It's four sambuca shots and a beer later, he walks towards her and orders another beer and a glass of red wine (he presumes that was the red liquid occupying her glass earlier) for a moment there's nothing spoken — they just watch each other.

"I'm Caleb."

"Elizabeth—Liz."

Introductions over. The barmaid hands over the drinks, Caleb gives her a tenner tells her to keep the change. Elizabeth stares at the bottom of her glass, absent-mindedly swirling her finger along the rim of the glass. Caleb wonders if she notices how beautiful she looks when she does that.

Elizabeth introduces him to her friends, there's Cathy and Harriet. Both girls raise their eyebrows at each other and excuse themselves, finding a free table in the corner. It's enough to give Caleb and Elizabeth space but close enough so both girls can look after their friend and make sure Caleb's not a serial rapist/murderer looking for his latest victim.

"What brings you here Caleb?"

Her accent's not from around here — Cardiff but more from the Midlands and Caleb picks up on that. He's silent for a couple of minutes, sipping on his beer until he answers back; "oh you know, downing my sorrows after a tough shift."

She's intrigued by him. There's something about him that's attractive and she isn't sure if it's the self-destructive trait he possess. She saw him earlier knocking back Sambuca shots like they were going to disappear any minute.

"What do you do?"

She too takes a sip of her wine as she awaits his reply, "oh I'm an A&E doctor what about yourself?"

She puts down her glass of wine, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and replies, "nothing as exciting as that I'm afraid, I'm a primary school teacher."

The rest of the evening passes by with small talk. Cathy and Harriet give Elizabeth their excuses and leave her alone, making her promise that she will ring them when she gets home. She promises and before she knows it, its just her and Caleb downing their sorrows together.

"So what brings you to Holby Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth finishes her glass of wine and Caleb orders her another one as she thinks of the answer. What did bring her to Holby? She remembers discovering the photograph of her father in her mothers belongings after her passing, Holby being his last known address.

She bites her lower lip nervously and answers, "Holby was the last known address of my father. I'm trying to track him down."

Caleb stares at the woman amazed to think that there's a stranger on an equal journey as him. He swallowed hard. He was beginning an emotional journey of trying to find his birth mother. He touches Elizabeth's hand, "have you found your father?"

Elizabeth shakes her head. So far, nothing. She'd discovered that her father _had_ lived in Holby in the nineties and worked at a hospital called Holby City. The ends went loose at that and she knew it was a ridiculous idea to think he even worked at the same hospital, it had been years!

"Not yet," she took a sip from the fourth glass of wine from the night.

"Why are you looking for him?"

"My mother died three months ago," she smiled sadly. She missed her mother Jane. The two had a pretty good relationship even though Jane never told Elizabeth who her biological father was. Elizabeth couldn't and didn't judge her mother for that, she had her reasons.

A song came on that Caleb liked and offered his hand to Elizabeth, "would you like to dance?"

Elizabeth smiled and took his hand. On the dance floor the two danced close together, Caleb's hands on her hips. He knew he was only looking to get his leg over, a fuck would surely help him get over the shit feeling he was feeling inside.

She grinded against him and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "would you like to go back to mine?"

They can't keep their hands of one another in the taxi. Caleb's running his hand up and down her thigh and she's rocking herself backwards and forwards at the side of his thigh whilst nibbling on his ear.

He pushes her into the apartment and against the wall. His lips crash against hers and she wraps her legs around his waist.

"Fuck me," she breaths deeply, undoing his buttons on his shirt. He pulls his shirt off and throws it on the floor. Kissing her neck, he slides his hand up her thigh and pushes her knickers aside. He carries her into the bedroom and lies her down on the bed.

He fucks her roughly, she groans and digs her nails into his shoulders.

He uses her as an emotional release, leaving bruises and bites all over her body.

He doesn't really care, he just doesn't want to feel empty anymore.

* * *

 **jottings** — just a short oneshot, haven't written in a while. I don't really have time anymore, this is what happens when you work 50+ hour weeks. If you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review.


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